It's the holidays and I have free time on my hands. Waaaaay too much free time tonight, so I put together a little something that I hope means something to each and every one of you.

May you not have the kind of Christmas that the person in the song had....

(Read this to the tune of “The 12 Days of Christmas”)

On the first day of Christmas
My true love gave to me . . .
A Peyton Manning with the short sleeves

On the second day of Christmas
My true love gave to me . . .
Two definitions of “matches factory records”
And a Peyton Manning with the short sleeves

On the third day of Christmas
My true love gave to me . . .
Three Scoreboard “gamers”
Two definitions of “matches factory records”
And a Peyton Manning with the short sleeves

On the fourth day of Christmas
My true love gave to me . . .
Four St. Patrick’s Day Ripkens
Three Scoreboard “gamers”
Two definitions of “matches factory records”
And a Peyton Manning with the short sleeves

On the fifth day of Christmas
My true love gave to me . . .
Five Lampson LOAs!
Four St. Patrick’s Day Ripkens
Three Scoreboard “gamers”
Two definitions of “matches factory records”
And a Peyton Manning with the short sleeves

On the sixth day of Christmas
My true love gave to me . . .
Six NFL game cuts with grass stains next to the autograph and the PSA DNA tag removed
Five Lampson LOAs!
Four St. Patrick’s Day Ripkens
Three Scoreboard “gamers”
Two definitions of “matches factory records”
And a Peyton Manning with the short sleeves

On the seventh day of Christmas
My true love gave to me . . .
Seven salesman’s samples
Six NFL game cuts with grass stains next to the autograph and the PSA DNA tag removed
Five Lampson LOAs!
Four St. Patrick’s Day Ripkens
Three Scoreboard “gamers”
Two definitions of “matches factory records”
And a Peyton Manning with the short sleeves

On the eighth day of Christmas
My true love gave to me . . .
Eight Pujols Flagged X-Bats
Seven salesman’s samples
Six NFL game cuts with grass stains next to the autograph and the PSA DNA tag removed
Five Lampson LOAs!
Four St. Patrick’s Day Ripkens
Three Scoreboard “gamers”
Two definitions of “matches factory records”
And a Peyton Manning with the short sleeves

On the ninth day of Christmas
My true love gave to me . . .
Nine added nameplates
Eight Pujols Flagged X-Bats
Seven salesman’s samples
Six NFL game cuts with grass stains next to the autograph and the PSA DNA tag removed
Five Lampson LOAs!
Four St. Patrick’s Day Ripkens
Three Scoreboard “gamers”
Two definitions of “matches factory records”
And a Peyton Manning with the short sleeves

On the tenth day of Christmas
My true love gave to me . . .
Ten Majestic 0503B2 Tags
Nine added nameplates
Eight Pujols Flagged X-Bats
Seven salesman’s samples
Six NFL game cuts with grass stains next to the autograph and the PSA DNA tag removed
Five Lampson LOAs!
Four St. Patrick’s Day Ripkens
Three Scoreboard “gamers”
Two definitions of “matches factory records”
And a Peyton Manning with the short sleeves

On the eleventh day of Christmas
My true love gave to me . . .
Eleven 2006 Carl Pavano Yankees Steiner game used Yankees caps
Ten Majestic 0503B2 Tags
Nine added nameplates
Eight Pujols Flagged X-Bats
Seven salesman’s samples
Six NFL game cuts with grass stains next to the autograph and the PSA DNA tag removed
Five Lampson LOAs!
Four St. Patrick’s Day Ripkens
Three Scoreboard “gamers”
Two definitions of “matches factory records”
And a Peyton Manning with the short sleeves

On the twelfth day of Christmas
My true love gave to me . . .
Twelve consignor/authenticator conflicts of interest
Eleven 2006 Carl Pavano Yankees Steiner game used Yankees caps
Ten Majestic 0503B2 Tags
Nine added nameplates
Eight Pujols Flagged X-Bats
Seven salesman’s samples
Six NFL game cuts with grass stains next to the autograph and the PSA DNA tag removed
Five Lampson LOAs!
Four St. Patrick’s Day Ripkens
Three Scoreboard “gamers”
Two definitions of “matches factory records”
And a Peyton Manning with the short sleeves